daphnerosen (daphnerosen) wrote,
daphnerosen
daphnerosen

Bumper Sticker Nation

Your bumper sticker tells others a lot about who you are. For one, since most of us use bumper MAGNETS, it shows we all seem to lack commitment..lol. In a world where a soundbite is news, a bumper sticker tells others to sum you all up with one phrase. I will tell you what they are saying (or, at least, me and the other JAPs from UCLA Hillel) about you. I'll go first: my bumper magnet is a Jesus fish but with the words "Gefilte." Funny, uh? Get it? Instead of a Jesus fish, it's a gefilte fish because I'm Jewish. Yeah, it's only funny for like the first 2 seconds. So here's what others say when they see it (or even get it)-"Oh, a Jew in LA who drives a German car, how unique." Well, fuck those people, I like my bumper magnet. Anyway, here's more:

*MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT WASHINGTON MIDDLE SCHOOL.
Here's what others are saying-"Public school standards are so low, your kid's head lice would make honor roll. Does your kid achieve so little in life that you have to deface your '84 Z28? Ow, wait, his kid's probably retarded. My bad."

*MY KID BEAT UP YOU HONOR STUDENT
Here's what others are saying-"Stop picking on retards!"

*DON'T BELIEVE IN ABORTION, THEN DON'T HAVE ONE or IF IT'S NOT AN ABORTION THEN YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT
Here's what others are saying-"That's car's getting keyed."

*SUPPORT THE TROOPS
Here's what others are saying-"These yellow ribbons will boost our fighting soldiers' morale if they happen to be looking at video of American traffic while in the Middle East."

*A FORD PISSING ON A CHEVY/A CHEVY PISSING ON A FORD
Here's what others are saying-"Fuck ya both-Dodge got a Hemi!!!"

*CONFEDERATE FLAG
Here's what others are saying-Down South:"Go, Southern Pride." Outside the South:"KKK on Board!"

*A COLLEGE STICKER
Here's what others are saying-If it's a good college:"His kid's smart but I bet the poor guy's in debt." If it's a lame college:"His kid WAS an honor student at Washington Middle school."

*A PINK RIBBON
Here's what others are saying-"Boobies!!!"

*I SUPPORT THE LOCAL POLICE FUNDRAISER
Here's what others are saying-"That car won't get pulled over."

*BABY ON BOARD
Here's what others are saying-"I was gonna hit ya but now I can't, there's a baby on board." On a white van:"AMBER ALERT!!!"

*90.7 FM KPFK
Here's what others are saying-"She gave $35 and all she got was a lousy sticker." or "Wow you can get a sticker for only $35, I'm giving!!!"

*W '04
Here's what others are saying-"Still?"

*ISRAEL AND AMERICA-UNITED AGAINST TERROR
Here's what others are saying-"Kill Brown People!!!"

*MY FAMILY CARTOON FIGURES
Here's what others are saying-"Did the mom, blew the dad, will wait until the daughter's 18, won't wait until the son's 18, did the baby, almost did the dog."

*UNITED WE STAND
Here's what others are saying-"But only if you agree with me."

*W.O.W. (Whip 'em Out Wednesday)
Here's what others are saying-"Dammit, it's Thursday. I missed it again."
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